The Thing About Time

I am always amazed at the depth of relationships formed during only a week or two of camp, travel, or other such temporary things. It occurs to me that this is the nature of temporary things. At least as I see them. There are two approaches to a temporary circumstance: 1. Dive in wholeheartedly, making the most of every moment. 2. Hold back almost entirely since it will all be over soon anyway.

I tend to fall in the category of divers, perhaps to a fault. Sometimes I contemplate holding back, but I'm not so good at it. Today, for example, I began a weekend course in Thai Foot Massage. After spending the last 2 weeks getting close and rather attached to my classmates, I wasn't eager to start all over. I said my goodbyes to most of my new friends last night or this morning. When it was time for lunch with a brand new group of people, I decided to sit on my own, feeling like "holding back" this time around.

Then Carlos sat beside me. Carlos lives in Texas. He is from Bolivia. Somehow, in the course of a 30 minute lunch, I learned the stories of Carlos and his family, the struggles of immigration, the multitude of routes he and his family had taken to live and work in the U.S. I found myself with tears in my eyes as he talked about his cousin who risked her life three different times to cross into the U.S. illegally, only to be sent back. I was humbled, hearing about the sacrifices parents make to send money back home to their families. And in turn, their children use these opportunities to care for their aging parents. And I live a life with small problems which I pretend are big, and small sacrifices which I pretend are big. And I hadn't thought, until today, about how important it is from me to be available to my parents and grandparents as they get older (and preferably before anyones health declines?). They sacrificed a lot for me, even without crossing any country borders.

The thing about time is that when it is short, it is more valuable. If you found out you only had a year, or a month, or a week left to live, you might make a few changes. If you know you have only a week of camp/school/travel with someone, your relationship might develop a bit differently from someone you expect you could see any time.

And because time is so valuable, because life is not infinite (or so I believe), the way we choose to spend our time can be like a gift. To dedicate oneself to caring for another person is a more genuine display of love than any cash contribution could ever be. Giving your time towards the service of another- a child, a parent, or even a stranger- shows how much that person is worth. They are worth your time, which is "short" in a sense, though it may be longer than a 2 week thai massage course. And it is because time is short, because we do not live (on earth, in this particular body) forever, that our time is worth something. That is my idea of a happy ending. Not happy because everything always works out perfectly. Happy because there is an ending; which makes the story worthwhile.